During my first years of marriage I remember thinking “all we need is love.” Love definitely has something to do with it but it isn’t all that is needed. This love and respect concept goes much deeper than what my husband and I had ever thought. They are interconnected and when one receives love the boomarang effect takes place, sending out respect and visa versa. Now isn’t that like “if you scratch my back and I will scratch yours” kinda concept? No, cause you are not doing it under the precondition that if you do something you will get something in return. You are to show respect unconditionally regardless if you recieve love. And you are to show love regardless if you receive respect. Woah Nelly! Say what? Hold on a minute…I am to show respect unconditionally even though I am not receiving what I want like love, affection, and respect?
This is gonna hurt only for a moment….Yes! And in the same way a husband is to show a wife unconditional love regardless if they receive respect. Ephesians does not say “…each of you also might want to kinda love his wife as he loves himself as long as the wife respects you.” Ephesians 5:33 says “However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.” There is no room for interpretation as one would like. The other is not determined by what the other does, but is determined on where you are in your walk with the Lord. If you abide in Christ and He abides in you then there is no question in obeying what is commanded in Ephesians along with the other things the Lord asks us to do to live abundantly here on earth.
I have seen within my own marriage that if we are both not walking in the Lord wholeheartedly, that whole love and respect, boomarang blessing thing goes right out the window. Meaning as the song goes “Turn you eyes upon Jesus, look full in His wonderful face, and the things of earth will grow strangley dim in the light of His glory and grace!” One person cannot just hold up the marriage spiritually and expect to have a fulfilling marriage…that predicament is a whole other blog. Don’t get me wrong, I know there are plenty of marriages that are not Christ-centered and are successful, but I do know they are missing out on a “oneness” that Christ spoke about in Ephesians “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”
I encourage you to really take a look at your walk with the Lord and how it coincides with your marriage….Are you showing unconditional love? Are you showing unconditional respect? In which area are you lacking? I pray you will seek the Lord in these matters for your marriage and trust Him in helping you in the areas you are lacking. No one marriage has it “altogether!” It is a constant journey and a rewarding one if you allow God to show you exactly what He meant for us as a man and woman to be united as one. So, get out your boomerangs and get this business of love and respect to work within your marriage 🙂 It really is easier than you think..much easier and less expensive than the alternative!