What’s love gotta do, gotta do with it?

During my first years of marriage I remember thinking “all we need is love.” Love definitely has something to do with it but it isn’t all that is needed.  This love and respect concept goes much deeper than what my husband and I had ever thought.  They are interconnected and when one receives love the boomarang effect takes place, sending out respect and visa versa. Now isn’t that like “if you scratch my back and I will scratch yours” kinda concept?  No, cause you are not doing it under the precondition that if you do something you will get something in return.  You are to show respect unconditionally regardless if you recieve love. And you are to show love regardless if you receive respect. Woah Nelly! Say what? Hold on a minute…I am to show respect unconditionally even though I am not receiving what I want like love, affection, and respect?

This is gonna hurt only for a moment….Yes! And in the same way a husband is to show a wife unconditional love regardless if they receive respect.  Ephesians does not say “…each of you also might want to kinda love his wife as he loves himself as long as the wife respects you.” Ephesians 5:33 says “However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.” There is no room for interpretation as one would like. The other is not determined by what the other does, but is determined on where you are in your walk with the Lord.  If you abide in Christ and He abides in you then there is no question in obeying what is commanded in Ephesians along with the other things the Lord asks us to do to live abundantly here on earth.

I have seen within my own marriage that if we are both not walking in the Lord wholeheartedly, that whole love and respect, boomarang blessing thing goes right out the window.  Meaning as the song goes “Turn you eyes upon Jesus, look full in His wonderful face, and the things of earth will grow strangley dim in the light of His glory and grace!”  One person cannot just hold up the marriage spiritually and expect to have a fulfilling marriage…that predicament is a whole other blog. Don’t get me wrong, I know there are plenty of marriages that are not Christ-centered and are successful, but I do know they are missing out on a “oneness” that Christ spoke about in Ephesians “For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”

I encourage you to really take a look at your walk with the Lord and how it coincides with your marriage….Are you showing unconditional love? Are you showing unconditional respect? In which area are you lacking? I pray you will seek the Lord in these matters for your marriage and trust Him in helping you in the areas you are lacking.  No one marriage has it “altogether!” It is a constant journey and a rewarding one if you allow God to show you exactly what He meant for us as a man and woman to be united as one. So, get out your boomerangs and get this business of love and respect to work within your marriage 🙂 It really is easier than you think..much easier and less expensive than the alternative!

4 thoughts on “What’s love gotta do, gotta do with it?

  1. Hey cisnjer,
    I commented back a couple of weeks ago on this whole “marriage business” and must say that I did not have a very positive attitude. Thank God we/I do not rely on attitude to guide us/me. God has been speaking to me in many different ways about my decision to leave my husband & trust me I have been listening. First of all, the day I was going to put a deposit on a house, my husband offered to move out instead! Phew, that will make things much smoother for my tribe of little Indians 🙂 However, he (unlike me) is an extremely slow mover and has asked me to wait until tax season to find a place. Now, this could be God (or my husband) trying to buy some time get our priorities in order. God has also asked me to fast and pray for my marriage. At first I was rather opposed to the extra effort He was asking me to put forth, but then He confirmed His request again through my Sunday morning worship service. Let’s just say He got my attention and I have chosen to be obedient. Thank you for your obedience in following God’s request. You have given me much more than food for thought….You may have saved my marriage…. 🙂
    Thanks again,

    • Berrigood4u,
      I am just in awe after reading your comment. Just today a friend messaged me to tell me her husband had accepted Christ as his Lord and Savior after we have believed and prayed for over a year 🙂 I have to say the theme of my life for the past 6 months has been “waiting on the Lord….everything in His time.” That theme has all but screamed out at me through my times with the Lord and through praising! I of course am always like “Why, Lord…I have to do this and I have to do that” and He says “I know, but I have something better…keep your hands out of it my child.” I share this in hopes that even though your flesh maybe screaming to get out and be done with it, I pray you wait on His timing unless you or your tribe are in an abusive enviroment. I remember in a not so distant past my marriage was on the brink of one of us leaving, but through prayer and fasting on my husbands part whatever was holding me in bondage began to “crack” enough and I was able to “see” the path I was on that was causing my marraige to deterioate before my eyes. I will continue to be in prayer for you as you are obedient and continue to claim no weaponed formed against your marriage will prosper in Jesus name 🙂

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